Embarking on my journey to become a nurse was a monumental decision for me and my husband. Countless hours, effort, and financial resources were poured into this pursuit. As a post-baccalaureate student, having already earned a degree in communications, I found myself facing a unique set of challenges. The prospect of going to nursing school for two years (after completing prerequisites, which also took two years) while feeling the weight of previous academic endeavors and workforce situations left me somewhat burnt out.
Upon acceptance into nursing school, the realization of two additional years of intense study loomed large. At 26, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being behind my peers. While they were advancing in their careers and securing their financial futures, I grappled with the thoughts of ‘starting over’.
In addition, my husband and I were ready to start our family. With nursing school, I knew there was a chance we could try to align with the gap between my two years of studies. That gave me hope. As long as we could begin our family, I could do nursing school. I could be Wonder Woman – ready to tackle the demands of school alongside impending motherhood. And…amidst finals during my first quarter, I discovered I was pregnant!
Despite the morning sickness and fatigue, I was determined to excel academically while navigating the complexities of pregnancy. Surprisingly, I finished the quarter with another perfect GPA. But as the next quarter approached, I found myself at a crossroads.
Here’s why I made the difficult decision to take a leave of absence from nursing school:
The Need to be Present. I am not one of those people that thrives on chaos. I’m not one that comes home from a long day at school to be happy to be present in other things. Things that need me to be present: my husband, family, friends, our home, etc.. These priorities, along with being pregnant and having to learn all the new things of pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood were not going to allow me to excel in nursing school. Nursing school doesn’t really care if you’re a mom. It doesn’t really care if there’s a birthday or wedding you’re going to miss. It doesn’t really care that someone you love, died. Ultimately, I realized something about myself. I care more about the personal happenings of my life (my husband, my child, my family, my friends, not missing big and even small events) than about becoming a nurse. And if that meant I never return to nursing school, I was okay with that.
Not Needing to Prove Anything to Anyone. When I eventually ended up as a technician in healthcare, I felt like I needed to prove that I am smarter than just taking people’s medical histories. Albeit nursing school. When I had the desire to drop out, my thoughts swirled around the fact that people were going to think I dropped out because I was getting bad grades, did something to get myself kicked out, etc. Ultimately, though, I know that I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I can proudly wear the title of “mom” and “wife” and “friend” and “daughter” and “sister” and “blogger” and be completely content in that. Contentedness comes from within.
In hindsight, my decision to prioritize mental health, being present and familial bonds over a nursing career was the right choice for me. While the path may have diverged from my initial aspirations, I’ve found solace and contentment in embracing the roles that truly matter to me. And this isn’t to say that I will never pursue nursing school in the future. As I continue my journey, I carry with me the lessons learned and the resilience gained, acknowledging that this path isn’t necessarily easier but profoundly more fulfilling for me at this time.
If you are in a similar position of deciding to take a leave of absence or dropout of nursing school, I hope you take some time to think about the things that truly matter to you and consider what is going on in your life at the present time. I know you will make the right decision for you.